I have been meaning to blog for a long time. Things keep happening in my life and I always think to myself, "I need to blog about this!" But then I get super busy (aka get on Pinterest) and never end up blogging. Maybe I should get rid of all those distractions... But that is a topic for another day. Today the topic is art. This topic has been on my heart for a long time now, and I feel like God has been hitting me over the head with it for seven months now, or there abouts. Maybe I'm just slow to catch onto things, and maybe everyone else has already figured this out in their lives, but I'm still super excited to write about it and share my thoughts. Kristi Fox and Russ Collins have been two of the instrumental people to talk about this topic in my life. Russ talked about this tonight at the Mission, so I figured I would procrastinate no longer and get to blogging. Enough introduction, let us begin.
Girls, this one is mainly for you. Gentlemen (if there are any of you that actually read this), I am sorry. This most definitely probably applies to your lives as well, but seeing as I am a girl, I can really only write from the girl perspective. So please forgive any bias.
Self-esteem. Self-worth. Self-love. These are things that we all struggle with at one point in our lives, or for our entire lives. As a girl, as a human, I know that it has been a huge issue in my life. I still struggle with it. I imagine I will never stop struggling with it. I know I am not the only one. I have spent a large part of my life comparing myself to others. I'm not as smart as she is. I'm not as funny as he is. My hair isn't as pretty as hers. I'm not beautiful like her. The whites of my eyes aren't as white as hers (yes, I legitimately thought that at one point in my life). So many comparisons, and I have only lived for 21.5 years! All of these comparisons led me to try harder to be everything; funny, pretty, smart, lovable, etc. Welp, let's just go ahead and say that the harder I tried, the harder I failed. You want to know why I failed? Because the standard I was basing my "success" off of was still other people! Crazy how that works, huh? I could look at other people and see perfection, but when I looked at myself I only saw flaws.
I always knew in my head that God loved me and that I was His child. So what. Right? WRONG! God loves me (and everyone) so much that He personally put me together, bit by bit. He knit me together just as He wanted me. He made me just as I am for a purpose in this life. "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago." - Ephesians 2:10 (NLT). Depending on which translation your read, we are his masterpieces, handiwork, or craftsmanship. No matter which word you choose, you are still carefully and intentionally put together the way that you are! God made you the way He did for a reason. He is going to use you for a very specific purpose that He already has in mind. He made David really accurate with a slingshot, look what God did with that. He made Zacchaeus pretty darn short, look how that turned out for him (we still talk about him today). I have a contagious laugh (some might just call it unique). To be honest, I find it annoying. It is one thing that I don't always like about myself. But God has used it to break down walls, brighten people's days, and make other people laugh. Whether they are laughing with me or at me is sometimes questionable. It is a gift God has given me, though, and I know He is going to continue using it.
Art is a process. Think of a painting. You start with a blank canvas and you slowly add things to it and transform it. That is what God is doing with us. He starts to form us and make us before we are even conceived. This is our base coat. He picks genes for us to express, decides our hair color, molds our bodies. As our lives go on, God continually adds to the masterpieces that are us. He adds layers, new colors, textures, and the beauty of the masterpiece continues to grow. To be honest, there are plenty of times when I don't feel like a masterpiece. There are things in my past that I look back on and think, "there is no way a masterpiece would have that/do that/think that/act that way." I don't think God ever intended for me to experience some of the things I have experienced nor do some of things I have done. But since we are sinful, humans often do things that God never wanted. When these things happen, God doesn't look at us and say, "Well there's go that masterpiece. Another one for the trash." It's at these points where I imagine Him being like Bob Ross (if you don't know who that is, see the link at the bottom). 'Oops, didn't mean for that to happen, let me make it into a bird'. He takes the mistakes we make or the pain in our lives and says, "I didn't intend for this to ever happen to my masterpiece, but I am going to take it and make it beautiful." We are constantly in the process of being transformed by God, yet He sees us as being perfect the way we are now. And He wants us to come to Him just as we are.
Masterpieces are things that artists are proud of. They describe them as perfection. They want to show them off to the world. That is how God feels about you. You don't have to be funnier, prettier, cooler, better at sports, etc. He gave you gifts, and He gave your neighbor other gifts. It is so easy for me to look at other people and think about just how precious they are. It was not until recently that I started trying to do that with myself. Sometimes, it takes a conscious effort not to fall back into my habit of comparison and I don't always succeed. It is hard when you know as many amazing people as I do. But what if we all started to try and see ourselves as precious and purposeful? I would love to see what a world like that looked like.
There are so many more things I feel like I could say on this topic, but it's a blog, and who wants to read an essay of a blog. Plus, it is late. And one thing that God certainly made in me is a love for sleep. So if you want to know any of my further views on this or what God is teaching me in this battle, just ask me. I love to talk.
Bob Ross video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLO7tCdBVrA
Bryn...this is beautiful! And I LOVE your laugh! And I love you!!!
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